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Episode 18: Self Love

So self love is something that should be self explanatory. Many of us don't understand the concept of what it truly means. We say we love ourselves but do we really? Not taking care of our bodies, our skin or emotional health is self neglect and how can we love ourselves if we are being negligent? 

One point I'd like to make is when we expect other people to love us in a way we desire, we place false expectations. We have a tendency to trick ourselves into to thinking that if we get married or have a baby, we automatically receive love and this will make us happy. They will love us and we'll be complete. That is an illusion. Though we can be loved by others, it first starts within ourselves. It begins with how we allow ourselves to be treated, the words we accept that are spoken to us, and most importantly, the boundaries that we draw. Loving yourself and self esteem go hand in hand. 

To some people it doesn't make sense, but it honestly does. How can you love yourself in one breath then allow yourself to be disrespected in another? How do you love yourself, as an adult, if you permit someone to physically abuse you. I say adult because children have no control over it. Setting a standard is a huge part of self love and a lot of us deny ourselves of that right. I say us because at one time I was once use to do everything i could to make other people happy and put myself in last place. Family, relationships and the workplace got my best, when I had nothing but less to give myself after everyone else. I was robbed of my time, energy and creativity. Today, is a new day. I refuse to put anyone before my own needs. If I need a mental break that day, so be it. This coming from a person who would wear herself thin just so other people would be alright. Not anymore and not ever again.

It's always good to be alone sometimes. Not that anything is wrong with relationships, but being fully healed and loving yourself in an unconditionally way would benefit you mental whenever you do enter one. Getting your hair done, taking yourself out on a date, getting a massage or a pedicure are all ways you can display self love. This doesn't apply to woman alone either. Men you can do all of these things as well. There is nothing wrong with you indulging and partaking in some self love. One thing I like to do is Self Care Sundays. Since 2017, my self care Sunday consisted of me taking a spiritual bath, putting on my favorite spa type robe and listening to Frank Ocean, which by the way is my favorite singer ever. I also listen to Binaural beats for healing. No one is allowed to interrupt or disrupt my peace. My phone will be on do not disturb and I take time to meditate. That was before work scheduling. My mornings are started quiet. Even now, my house is to not be polluted with excessive noise. This is something adult children living with parents need to understand. My living space is scared and I don't compromise that. 

We can also display self love by taking time away from life and from work. I think there will be less disgruntled workers if everyone took care of themselves mentally. Stress plays a huge part of many underlying physical ailments that manifest from the mind. Ulcers, high blood pressure, hypertension, all come from stress. If you feel like work is overwhelming for you, take a day to so something that has absolutely nothing to do with work. Let it be the furthest thing from your mind. Go to a museum or take a walk on a nature trail. Hell, if you want to sleep in, do that. If it brings you peace, then go for it. 

Bottom line is, there is only one you. You can only love you the way you want to be loved. You are responsible for your own personal happiness. And busting your ass to make someone else happy ain't it either. Love on yourself like its your last day on Earth and repeat every day.

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